


Aftermath

by Steel



Category: Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Madness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steel/pseuds/Steel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perrin was quiet now, his too-wide eyes staring at nothing from a face ragged with exhaustion and strain. Faile knew the madness of <i>saidin</i> worked in different ways, had seen its results while staying at that farm, but he had been quiet for some time now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

  * For [karaburrito](https://archiveofourown.org/users/karaburrito/gifts).



Faile held him close, repeatedly threading her fingers through his soft curls—no longer as soft as she recalled, but stringy with sweat and soot—in soothing gestures, trying to ignore the way her heart hammered in her chest and how the stench of charred flesh was the only thing she could smell.

Perrin was quiet now, his too-wide eyes staring at nothing from a face ragged with exhaustion and strain. She knew the madness of _saidin_ worked in different ways, had seen its results while staying at that farm, but he had been quiet for some time now. A part of her wondered if he could remember what he’d done—if he could remember anything of his life, not just what had transpired here over these last few hours—but another part of her hoped he couldn’t so he could have at least one last respite before the end.

As if he had somehow read her mind—her spine went cold at the thought, and colder still in shame for thinking so, for feeling so—his grip on her arms tightened painfully, to the point that she would certainly bruise, but she did not pull away. Maybe there was still a part of him in there that could be salvaged, could be—

“Why won’t Ban play with me anymore?” he suddenly whispered, and Faile’s hands stilled. “I—I didn’t mean to hurt him, but he was making fun of me, and wouldn’t stop even after I asked him to twice.” He turned his face towards her with a whimper, the way a child would seek refuge in his mother’s skirts. “I didn’t mean to hurt him,” he repeated, shoulders shaking. “I didn’t mean to…”

Faile stared straight ahead and mechanically resumed running her hands through his hair, refusing to look around her at the shapes she knew were there, but their burned faces would be seared into her mind forever.

She had always known this day would come, some day. Once, she had even promised him that she would be the one to do it, since he trusted no one else above her. She still remembered how his eyes had widened in horror. Not for his sake, but for hers. He was always protective like that, her blacksmith, and when it wasn’t infuriating it was charming. But she had always prided herself on being fearless, too, and on knowing that, when the time came, she would not— _could_ not—falter.

But now bile scorched Faile’s throat, and she felt the corners of her eyes beginning to burn. No! She could do this. She _had_ to do this.

“It will be quick, my heart,” she promised, swallowing past the lump in her throat. Something slipped into her hand from her sleeve, something that glinted in the dim light.

His shivering ceased, his eyes rising to her face in a sudden moment of clarity. “I don’t _deserve_ quick,” he rasped, and her hand stilled, her heart lurching in hope and dread. But then he smiled, almost boyishly, and said, “Master al'Vere promised he’d tell us one of his stories on Sunday since there’s no gleeman coming, and—”

Faile tried to stay true to her word, but it was not as quick as it could have been. She didn't think she would ever be able to wash her hands clean, or banish the sounds of his slow, labored breaths from her mind. But it was only once the last light faded from his eyes and her gaze fell to that half-smile still on his face did she finally let herself go, howling in grief as she clutched her husband's lifeless body to hers.

There was no one left alive to see her mourn anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Ban is in reference to [Bandry Crawe](http://encyclopaedia-wot.org/characters/b/bandry_crawe.html), a boy around Perrin's age from Emond's Field. I headcanoned that the reason Perrin is so careful around people is from a childhood incident, when he accidentally hurt one of the other boys because he was so strong. Like you needed more pain, amirite?
> 
> Also, make sure to read [His Final Breaths](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4029910) by [karaburrito](http://archiveofourown.org/users/karaburrito/pseuds/karaburrito), a companion piece to this one, for even more gut-wrenching feels. c:


End file.
